Last night was a scream away from a night of peaceful rest. I got about 3 zeds when I should have been getting my thousands,I tossed and turned, got up for toilet breaks. Horrible typical sleepless wednesday. Thursday mornings are my early starts so the night before I'm riddled with 'sleeping in' paranoia and kept awake by UIB (unidentified insect bites). I basically lay awake scratching until my thighs were bruised and running through a list of famous serial killers in my head. Blah...however with a bad night came a good day. Perhaps when I'm half asleep and zombie'ing about at work I have the most fluent and interesting conversations with customers.
There is a regular, he is an elderly gentleman who tends to ramble/mumble. Every time he sees me tells me never live in the country when I'm old, because there are no hospitals close, no one to help you when you're in trouble. Death wish.
Today he hobbles in and greets as per usual.. "hello lady, don't live in the country when you're old. Put up your hand."
I proceed, I hold my left hand up to show him.
"Ahh.. good, you got to keep your wings, you need them to fly."
Right on old man, yes.. yes, I pretend like I know what the hell he is going on about and continue to offer him a cold glass of water.
"I wouldn't be offended. If this was back in the day and you were 30 and .. what's your name? Ah.. and you had seven children I would say to you you're a good girl."
Again I had absolutely no clue what he was saying so I just laughed and hoped I'd never have seven children.
"Never say never, but once you hit 40 get yourself a companion. A cat or a dog is good for.."
He begins tapping his forehead with his hand.
"A Doctor once said to me as a young man, you must have a companion it helps with your .."
He taps his head again.
"I had two working class poodles, cats and dogs are good for you."
I couldn't agree more, I've always found the best company in my working class domestic feline friends.
Before this gentlemen left my work place he told me to keep my wings, I need them to fly, I said back to him keep yours too and he replied..
"I'm trying to keep out of an old blokes' home"
Aren't we all, aren't we all.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
"All my love, Lil Kim"
I've always been one for obsessions, if I like something I give it my all. I'm loyal to people such as Madonna and Lil' Kim just as I am to my close friends, now this certainly doesn't equant to crazy fan behaviour... I keep things under control. If I say anything that comes across crazy it's probably something I wouldn't go through with as I respect these people too much to annoy or hurt them in any way, so I stay clear of the stalking!
The 14th of Feb is a special day, it was a very special day this year indeed. The date marked the release of Lil' Kim's long coming mixtape Black Friday, the ultimate diss-tape packed full of dissy goodness!! Living up to my freaky girl rep I check the Lil' Kim fan club everyday just as I do my facebook, I waited eagerly for this glorious day to arrive and pretty much watched the mix tape grow..
When tuesday rolled around I rushed home from work with debit card in hand and followed the www.lilkimfanclub.com prompts on my way to ownership.
Like many other die hard fans I was confused, no download link, no follow up confirmation of purchase just $10 less in my bank account.
I contacted the person in charge of sales "rubyk_jones@yahoo.com" which I was certain was Kimmy's ma... and politely questioned when the frick was I gonna receive my flippin' mix tape!!!!!
I skimmed over others' comments and complaints on the fan site and got no answers until a few days later when I googled "Black Friday sales".
RECORD RECORD SALES, the bad bitch made millions in only a few days and shut down paypal!
Of course Kimmy kindly apologized via twitter to her adoring fans who were wondering what the deal was and explained that mix tape couldn't be downloaded but that she would send each person a physical copy of Black Friday and the first 100,000 would be signed!
I almost pissed my hot pants.
Seriously.
So.
Excited.
Just when I was beginning to push the anticipation to the back of my mind (in order to function normally) I got a slip in the mail advising me to pick up registered mail at the P.O. ..but alas it was only a standard envelope which lived a letter typed on Kimmy Blanco Inc stationary...
And it went a little something like this:
February 21,2011
Dear Lorelei ....SURNAME,
Due to the huge response we received from the Lil' Kim-Black Friday Mixtapes, we are experiencing a delay in filling some of the orders. Your order will be sent to you as soon as possible and should be arriving to you within 5-7 business days from this date.
Please accept my apologies for this delay and know I appreciate my team Lil' Kim Army more than anything.
All my love,
*signed*
Lil' Kim a.k.a. Kimmy Blanco
(a.k.a Queen Bee, a.k.a Miss White etc... etc... )
I'm pleased, I will wait patiently and have a Black Friday party in the mean time.
XXX Thanks for existing Kim.
Now I'm going to enjoy my soup's after taste & The Jump Rope on SYN fm.90.7
The 14th of Feb is a special day, it was a very special day this year indeed. The date marked the release of Lil' Kim's long coming mixtape Black Friday, the ultimate diss-tape packed full of dissy goodness!! Living up to my freaky girl rep I check the Lil' Kim fan club everyday just as I do my facebook, I waited eagerly for this glorious day to arrive and pretty much watched the mix tape grow..
When tuesday rolled around I rushed home from work with debit card in hand and followed the www.lilkimfanclub.com prompts on my way to ownership.
Like many other die hard fans I was confused, no download link, no follow up confirmation of purchase just $10 less in my bank account.
I contacted the person in charge of sales "rubyk_jones@yahoo.com" which I was certain was Kimmy's ma... and politely questioned when the frick was I gonna receive my flippin' mix tape!!!!!
I skimmed over others' comments and complaints on the fan site and got no answers until a few days later when I googled "Black Friday sales".
RECORD RECORD SALES, the bad bitch made millions in only a few days and shut down paypal!
Of course Kimmy kindly apologized via twitter to her adoring fans who were wondering what the deal was and explained that mix tape couldn't be downloaded but that she would send each person a physical copy of Black Friday and the first 100,000 would be signed!
I almost pissed my hot pants.
Seriously.
So.
Excited.
Just when I was beginning to push the anticipation to the back of my mind (in order to function normally) I got a slip in the mail advising me to pick up registered mail at the P.O. ..but alas it was only a standard envelope which lived a letter typed on Kimmy Blanco Inc stationary...
And it went a little something like this:
February 21,2011
Dear Lorelei ....SURNAME,
Due to the huge response we received from the Lil' Kim-Black Friday Mixtapes, we are experiencing a delay in filling some of the orders. Your order will be sent to you as soon as possible and should be arriving to you within 5-7 business days from this date.
Please accept my apologies for this delay and know I appreciate my team Lil' Kim Army more than anything.
All my love,
*signed*
Lil' Kim a.k.a. Kimmy Blanco
(a.k.a Queen Bee, a.k.a Miss White etc... etc... )
I'm pleased, I will wait patiently and have a Black Friday party in the mean time.
XXX Thanks for existing Kim.
Now I'm going to enjoy my soup's after taste & The Jump Rope on SYN fm.90.7
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Seahorse balls & Long Blacks
It's been a long while since I've blogged a blog, dropped a few lines on this dead thing...just haven't had the energy/time between all the "rockstar" back up dancing & DJ gigs or the 400 hours of reception work I've been doing!!
I'll start off by saying my back up dancing gigs for Jade Leonard went down a treat, the first performance at Pinkaliscious second birthday bash and the second at St Kilda Pride March. My colleagues and I felt like novelty Marilyn Monroes at a theme park with the constant camera attention.
http://www.myspace.com/jadeleonardmusic
My previous two DJ gigs were mixed.. the first one management and security obviously couldn't handle my thugness.
Despite getting forcefully removed against my will at one gig, we had great feedback & our co-ordinating outfits are continuing strongly.
My dream life has been just as colourful, the other evening I had a whooper, I was at a seaside party and a strange fisherman had kindly given me freezer bags full of seahorse mince. I knew my mother would appreciate a homemade treat so I made her meatballs from seahorse and seaweed, I froze them and kept them under my pillow for a rainy day... or until I saw my mother later that afternoon at my grandmother's house. Meanwhile, my grandmother was getting my father to taste test her new honey custard which she was perfecting for Christmas day.
Anyway.... I must be off and finish my stove top long black in my kitty cat mug, I have a New Zealander coming to crash on my couch sooooooon!!!
Bye.
I'll start off by saying my back up dancing gigs for Jade Leonard went down a treat, the first performance at Pinkaliscious second birthday bash and the second at St Kilda Pride March. My colleagues and I felt like novelty Marilyn Monroes at a theme park with the constant camera attention.
http://www.myspace.com/jadeleonardmusic
My previous two DJ gigs were mixed.. the first one management and security obviously couldn't handle my thugness.
Despite getting forcefully removed against my will at one gig, we had great feedback & our co-ordinating outfits are continuing strongly.
My dream life has been just as colourful, the other evening I had a whooper, I was at a seaside party and a strange fisherman had kindly given me freezer bags full of seahorse mince. I knew my mother would appreciate a homemade treat so I made her meatballs from seahorse and seaweed, I froze them and kept them under my pillow for a rainy day... or until I saw my mother later that afternoon at my grandmother's house. Meanwhile, my grandmother was getting my father to taste test her new honey custard which she was perfecting for Christmas day.
Anyway.... I must be off and finish my stove top long black in my kitty cat mug, I have a New Zealander coming to crash on my couch sooooooon!!!
Bye.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Going to the Chapel
Last night I had a dream that it was my planned wedding day and my mother had decorated her house and backyard for it.
Everyone was invited but the problem was the person she had arranged for me to marry was actually engaged to someone else. How embarassment.
I had to then text everyone to let them know that the wedding was postponed (until I found someone else to marry) but my mother never gave me the guest list so I was just guessing who was invited... errgh..
I'm sure if my mum had her way she would arrange my marriage.
Everyone was invited but the problem was the person she had arranged for me to marry was actually engaged to someone else. How embarassment.
I had to then text everyone to let them know that the wedding was postponed (until I found someone else to marry) but my mother never gave me the guest list so I was just guessing who was invited... errgh..
I'm sure if my mum had her way she would arrange my marriage.
Self Medicate
Hello,
here I am once again sick at home with some sort of mutant flu/period pain/throat infection fever like hell diesease AGAIN! Lucky I know the deal to avoid doctors at all costs (I hate doctors), I self medicate like a bawss.
I mustered up the energy to leave the house today and bought myself
1 drinking coconut http://www.coconutresearchcenter.org/
raspberries
peaches
avocado
and fresh bread..
a spoonful of Manuka honey and I should be right as rain tomorrow! I've finally watched Requiem for a Dream and now I'm seeing my self medicating routine in flashes and split screens.
On a good note, over the weekend my friends and I performed for the second time backing up the lovely Jade Leonard as the Camp Camp Revolution Dance Troupe at Pride March. It was a very proud and sparkling day (until I piked and was a sicky).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=71lLRW4f2-A <--- there's Jade being jazzy..
Speaking of performances, Brooklyn Queenz will be djing again so there is another excuse for me to wear a costume and get paid for having fun.
Monday, January 3, 2011
CTFO
First of all to start off this entry I hope you all had a very merry Ludacrismas & an enjoyble yet disappointing New Year's eve.
I know mine was, well.. at least it was lovely up until a dreadful glittery boob fest I attended against my will post countdown. I entered 20 (legs) 11 in the most fed up grumpy biatch way ever, cursing, crying and falling asleep home alone at 3am!
Before the point inwhich I went insane I had made up a motto for the new year, Chill the Fuck Out... Which I do need to do a lot more, stop getting irratated and unecessarily upset over tiny things in life. I wrote it on my knuckles, I fist bumped it throughout the night.. yet I didn't stick by it for longer than a few hours, hopefully it can follow me for the rest of the year.
JANUARY PLANS:
Just to stop myself waffling on about my unpleasantness in generally I want to share with you some exciting plans for January.
11th Jan- Brooklyn Queenz are djing somewhere in the city, (faux) Versace clad and dazzlingly orange for the occasion.
And... I plan to have a few dinner parties, eat more cheese, drink more wine and live the very few spare hours to the fullest!
Oh I've also totally lost my lust to write, I want it back.
I know mine was, well.. at least it was lovely up until a dreadful glittery boob fest I attended against my will post countdown. I entered 20 (legs) 11 in the most fed up grumpy biatch way ever, cursing, crying and falling asleep home alone at 3am!
Before the point inwhich I went insane I had made up a motto for the new year, Chill the Fuck Out... Which I do need to do a lot more, stop getting irratated and unecessarily upset over tiny things in life. I wrote it on my knuckles, I fist bumped it throughout the night.. yet I didn't stick by it for longer than a few hours, hopefully it can follow me for the rest of the year.
JANUARY PLANS:
Just to stop myself waffling on about my unpleasantness in generally I want to share with you some exciting plans for January.
11th Jan- Brooklyn Queenz are djing somewhere in the city, (faux) Versace clad and dazzlingly orange for the occasion.
And... I plan to have a few dinner parties, eat more cheese, drink more wine and live the very few spare hours to the fullest!
Oh I've also totally lost my lust to write, I want it back.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Kicks n Corsets
The idea of a singing modern day burlesque troupe has been poorly executed by The Pussycat Dolls (only one member actually can sing) but I have big ideas to start a burlesque femcee troupe. Kicks and corsets is what jumped out of my friend's (Ran-D one half of The Jump Rope) mouth the other day over coffee when I was sharing burlesque class stories, seems we were on the same page. It's perfectly wedged between my two style obsessions... (no pasties sorry),and I think it would be cool to spit a mean verse posed upside down on a folding chair.
Tricks, kicks AND CORSETS.
The world of burlesque is associated with old music, vintage costumes and cutesy/cheeky persona attached, it would be interesting to put a hardcore "bitch" spin on it and maybe cut out some of those "Oopsy doopsy I just popped" faces.
Of course props to Kim for absolutely mincing a track in an air constricting corset and a suffocating wig (it's like a ballet concert all over again! I can feel the itching!) She's truly committed to a costume.
Oh and I didn't even go into the gory details of burlesque, after my first lesson my thighs were painted with hardcore bruises, I looked like a street fighter and quite frankly I enjoyed it.
So... wouldn't that just make the whole thing more "gangsta"?
kidding kidding... bruises are not an upside to the art.
Tricks, kicks AND CORSETS.
The world of burlesque is associated with old music, vintage costumes and cutesy/cheeky persona attached, it would be interesting to put a hardcore "bitch" spin on it and maybe cut out some of those "Oopsy doopsy I just popped" faces.
Of course props to Kim for absolutely mincing a track in an air constricting corset and a suffocating wig (it's like a ballet concert all over again! I can feel the itching!) She's truly committed to a costume.
Oh and I didn't even go into the gory details of burlesque, after my first lesson my thighs were painted with hardcore bruises, I looked like a street fighter and quite frankly I enjoyed it.
So... wouldn't that just make the whole thing more "gangsta"?
kidding kidding... bruises are not an upside to the art.
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