wow. Terrible 'it's bed time' joke.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Madonna in Art.
Pretty much can't say much other than I lost my shit in Savers today when my friend found the book "MADONNA IN ART" thirty bucks later I've added to my reedonkulusly large collection of Madonna related 'things'. I am now in danger of buying dodge Madonna fan art off eBay and plastering my walls with it. Oh yeah I'm a mad woman. MAD DONNA
wow. Terrible 'it's bed time' joke.
wow. Terrible 'it's bed time' joke.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Livin' on borrowed time
... It's taken me a while to write anything due to a few reasons, A: I've become increasingly stupid in the last few weeks B: Lost my blog 'hard on' since someone told me they actually read it and started quoting parts of my blog to me, no negative nor positive feedback so it just freaked me out... and yeah general business with work, dealing with the dickheads of this world.
Lucky I waited because I have a hideous tale of boganism to tell everyone (all three people who read my blog)! Last friday night I played the role of loyal friend quite decently by agreeing to accompany a friend of mine to Ferntree Gully (whoop whoop) Hotel for her new 'friend's' work drinks. She didn't want to go out there alone, but she felt mean refusing the invite. We expected a quiet daggy RSL or pub with a few bogans, so thought we'd at least be able to survive that with each others' support however we were rudely confronted with this 'glitzy' eighties themed night-full blown 29 dollar cover charge style! Fuck off. We were greeted at the door by a bunch of middle aged women dressed in 80's attire and smokin' fags.
"Are youz two girls lesbians?"
Cool, from the word go they were making homophobic cracks at my friend and I, keep in mind these women had crimped hair and acid wash denim on...well something along those lines anyway. My jaw literally dropped when we found out we had to pay for this night of hell, we were pretty much trapped in a room filled with bad mullets and an Irish 80's cover band which opened with a really GREAT racist Bin Laden joke with a sheep fucking theme. Oh the crowd went wild for them, especially when they brought a member of The Models up on stage to bust out some tracks, the lead singer had this Rod Stewart look going on and refused to remove his sunglasses like a real rock star. THERE WAS A JIM BEAM MURAL ON THE FRIGGIN' WALL!!!!
We were cashless, pretty much relying on my friend's little shaved headed mate to purchase us beers all night (no way I would be living if there was no alcohol involved) and at this point I turned to my friend and said "chop my arm off, I don't want to live", tears streaming down my face.
You may think that's a dramatized version of my reaction but it's the complete truth and it was in no way an over reaction. The people surrounding me looked mean, I had this feeling like all the shag permed women wanted to pin me to the wall and beat the crap out of me.
A bald man in a BAD Hawaiian shirt gave me the eye, I threw up in my mouth then got distracted by the very serious dancing to Goanna- Solid Rock (I do like this song). My friend and I were looking for an escape so we headed outside for a ciggie, I'm not a smoker but this was clearly an extreme circumstance.
Outside in the cramped smoking area we met a young lady named Kylie who confidently grabbed our faces and told us we were too gorgeous to be hanging out with the guy we were with. Flattering I guess but she was laying on the compliments thickly and she made me uncomfortable with all the groping.
A women walked past and sneakily flashed the mini champagne bottle she was stuffing in the pocket of her black cargo pants "better hide this ey".
This crusty young, 'trendy' guy with badly formed dreadlocks and a tie-dyed t-shirt asked to take our photograph for some facebook page, once we told him he already asked us inside and the answer was no he got really embarrassed. He repeatedly kissed his index finger and middle finger at us.
OH ... I couldn't count the number of 'bald with long plated mullet' hairstyles the gentlemen were sporting or the number of really bad tattoos, Kylie's being a ying yang with a border of yellow vines under her breasts. Yes she flashed me.
Because we were relying on a lift home, we didn't get out of there until 12.30am, "Ferntree Gully Hotel next weekend?"
HELLZ NO.
:( BOOO...
I had to really pull off the rest of my weekend in style, dirty dancehall dancing at a party the following night. Think the video of Sean Paul's - Get Busy...
*** have a new friend. Her name is Aly. We do our groceries together. She lives around the corner. :)***
Lucky I waited because I have a hideous tale of boganism to tell everyone (all three people who read my blog)! Last friday night I played the role of loyal friend quite decently by agreeing to accompany a friend of mine to Ferntree Gully (whoop whoop) Hotel for her new 'friend's' work drinks. She didn't want to go out there alone, but she felt mean refusing the invite. We expected a quiet daggy RSL or pub with a few bogans, so thought we'd at least be able to survive that with each others' support however we were rudely confronted with this 'glitzy' eighties themed night-full blown 29 dollar cover charge style! Fuck off. We were greeted at the door by a bunch of middle aged women dressed in 80's attire and smokin' fags.
"Are youz two girls lesbians?"
Cool, from the word go they were making homophobic cracks at my friend and I, keep in mind these women had crimped hair and acid wash denim on...well something along those lines anyway. My jaw literally dropped when we found out we had to pay for this night of hell, we were pretty much trapped in a room filled with bad mullets and an Irish 80's cover band which opened with a really GREAT racist Bin Laden joke with a sheep fucking theme. Oh the crowd went wild for them, especially when they brought a member of The Models up on stage to bust out some tracks, the lead singer had this Rod Stewart look going on and refused to remove his sunglasses like a real rock star. THERE WAS A JIM BEAM MURAL ON THE FRIGGIN' WALL!!!!
We were cashless, pretty much relying on my friend's little shaved headed mate to purchase us beers all night (no way I would be living if there was no alcohol involved) and at this point I turned to my friend and said "chop my arm off, I don't want to live", tears streaming down my face.
You may think that's a dramatized version of my reaction but it's the complete truth and it was in no way an over reaction. The people surrounding me looked mean, I had this feeling like all the shag permed women wanted to pin me to the wall and beat the crap out of me.
A bald man in a BAD Hawaiian shirt gave me the eye, I threw up in my mouth then got distracted by the very serious dancing to Goanna- Solid Rock (I do like this song). My friend and I were looking for an escape so we headed outside for a ciggie, I'm not a smoker but this was clearly an extreme circumstance.
Outside in the cramped smoking area we met a young lady named Kylie who confidently grabbed our faces and told us we were too gorgeous to be hanging out with the guy we were with. Flattering I guess but she was laying on the compliments thickly and she made me uncomfortable with all the groping.
A women walked past and sneakily flashed the mini champagne bottle she was stuffing in the pocket of her black cargo pants "better hide this ey".
This crusty young, 'trendy' guy with badly formed dreadlocks and a tie-dyed t-shirt asked to take our photograph for some facebook page, once we told him he already asked us inside and the answer was no he got really embarrassed. He repeatedly kissed his index finger and middle finger at us.
OH ... I couldn't count the number of 'bald with long plated mullet' hairstyles the gentlemen were sporting or the number of really bad tattoos, Kylie's being a ying yang with a border of yellow vines under her breasts. Yes she flashed me.
Because we were relying on a lift home, we didn't get out of there until 12.30am, "Ferntree Gully Hotel next weekend?"
HELLZ NO.
:( BOOO...
I had to really pull off the rest of my weekend in style, dirty dancehall dancing at a party the following night. Think the video of Sean Paul's - Get Busy...
*** have a new friend. Her name is Aly. We do our groceries together. She lives around the corner. :)***
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Only the Lonely
And not just a catchy song (or two, or more).. it's my life right now. My three beautiful housemates have neglected me for more than a few nights and I'm going mad. I'm actually excited to go to work and talk to people. The other day my mother didn't even have time to come in for a cuppa...really sad. The upside of being home alone though is I can be a stinky messy dork who dances hardcore in the lounge room to hip hop and no one will know (until I broadcast it on the web), but really it doesn't measure up to the great company I usually have in this house. Last night I was fearing for my life because I swear I heard footsteps! I had to stay up and keep guard, keeping myself calm with adorable Pac Div video clips. I MIGHT JUST SLEEP WITH A KNIFE TONIGHT!!! GAAAAH... I'm going mad, I actually put a washing basket on my back today at work and pretended to be a turtle.
Shit. Hot. Damn.
Oh and I ended the day by doing the dishes and salting a slug.
Fun. Well Hopefully the Easter break will bring me company and fun!
Shit. Hot. Damn.
Oh and I ended the day by doing the dishes and salting a slug.
Fun. Well Hopefully the Easter break will bring me company and fun!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
team sports
It's probably because I'm very much getting back into AFL because my team is actually playing properly and winning games but last night I had a really odd dream, I was at this football stadium watching a match from the 1970's. The game was projected onto the ground so it was like one of those virtual video games and it was like a real life footy match. They had different years you could choose from, dad and I were then going to buy tickets to see the 1993 grand final. So cool.
Anyway.. speaking of team sports, I successfully avoided a tournament of 'family' cricket at some work related picnic today due to bi-polar weather and lack of team members, FEWF!! Saved by rain my dear friend Courtney and I went to our favourite eatery in the city, Dumpz but we found it difficult to eat to the sound of Dionne Warwick singing 'I'll Never Fall in Love Again' (just one verse and chorus) on loop as if the record was broken. I just wanted to bash my head against the greasy wood veneered walls or stab those red plastic chopsticks in my ears!
We then went home and searched for Japanese Spritz puppies on the trading post and decided we sort of need one between the two of us, I mean have you seen what these dogs look like???
OH, almost forgot... Black Friday mixtape is now in my possession- Proudly listening to it on repeat.
Do the Kimmy gurl rock.xx
Anyway.. speaking of team sports, I successfully avoided a tournament of 'family' cricket at some work related picnic today due to bi-polar weather and lack of team members, FEWF!! Saved by rain my dear friend Courtney and I went to our favourite eatery in the city, Dumpz but we found it difficult to eat to the sound of Dionne Warwick singing 'I'll Never Fall in Love Again' (just one verse and chorus) on loop as if the record was broken. I just wanted to bash my head against the greasy wood veneered walls or stab those red plastic chopsticks in my ears!
We then went home and searched for Japanese Spritz puppies on the trading post and decided we sort of need one between the two of us, I mean have you seen what these dogs look like???
OH, almost forgot... Black Friday mixtape is now in my possession- Proudly listening to it on repeat.
Do the Kimmy gurl rock.xx
Friday, April 8, 2011
.Channelling.Paully.D.
Last night was the long anticipated Camp Camp Revolution DR3/\MZ album launch ft. Br00KLYN QUEENZ dj duet and boy was it part tech-disaster part the best thing that ever happened. Despite costume malfunctions (deliberate) and major technical difficulties (they had no bloody lights and ONE cd deck!!!) CCR performed fantastically and made heaps of mula to fund ligit album printing, can I get a whoop whoop?? They also revealed a spanking new track. DE ZI NA SHIT.
Because I didn't actually get to dj properly last night (basically could play one cd) I've been sitting in my loungeroom on Virtual DJ, so you should probably play this video as a soundtrack to this entry...A very very lazy DJ set.
Just don't concentrate on my face just listen please, by the way the wig is green.
Before I got distracted by shiny nylon hair I was responsibly 'scrubbing the deck'. The front porch no longer looks like the front of the Young Ones' house and more like a dignified lady house.
I worked out a nifty speaker to laptop set up which made cleaning and disturbing the neighbourhood much easier.
Best part of the day after is I get dinner cooked for me by a certain Ms.A.Briggs B-Arch. YUM. NIGHT BITCHEZ
XX
Because I didn't actually get to dj properly last night (basically could play one cd) I've been sitting in my loungeroom on Virtual DJ, so you should probably play this video as a soundtrack to this entry...A very very lazy DJ set.
Just don't concentrate on my face just listen please, by the way the wig is green.
Before I got distracted by shiny nylon hair I was responsibly 'scrubbing the deck'. The front porch no longer looks like the front of the Young Ones' house and more like a dignified lady house.
I worked out a nifty speaker to laptop set up which made cleaning and disturbing the neighbourhood much easier.
Best part of the day after is I get dinner cooked for me by a certain Ms.A.Briggs B-Arch. YUM. NIGHT BITCHEZ
XX
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Wednesday night
I will sleep well tonight, I got my long awaited Barbie platinum wig!!!
Here's a video of me opening the parcel with my top half on, listening to my favourite radio show- THE JUMP ROPE.
I'm just happy because I needed this to complete my Americana costumes for my upcoming gig with Camp Camp Revolution.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=212464795437410
This was just a quickie post.
Night
XX
Here's a video of me opening the parcel with my top half on, listening to my favourite radio show- THE JUMP ROPE.
I'm just happy because I needed this to complete my Americana costumes for my upcoming gig with Camp Camp Revolution.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/event.php?eid=212464795437410
This was just a quickie post.
Night
XX
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